By Heart
by princessjoey630
Summary: Five months after Ziva's departure, the team is still feeling betrayed. With the sudden and problematic return of their colleague, they are forced to question their orders and make decisions that will undermine the administration. Eventual Tiva. ON HIATUS
1. Chapter 1: I Don't Know

**A/N New fic! (B12 fans, look at my profile for the status of the sequel).**

**This is set after Aliyah. No idea where the idea for it came from. Not completely in sync with the storyline from the show, but it's based on it.**

**There's another A/N at the end of this – I don't want it to look like the whole chapter is me talking. :)**

**DISCLAIMER: I own a very stressed brain, a locket and a rather decrepit-looking Psychology textbook, but not NCIS.

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Chapter 1: I Don't Know

Five months. It had been five months since the team had been reduced to three. Gibbs, with all his worldly powers of hostility and interrogation, had scared all the replacements away, and Vance had finally stopped assigning them to them.

Never before had they felt so betrayed.

Gibbs had informed the remaining agents of Ziva's 'orders' to kill Ari.

As far as Tony was concerned, they had no reason to trust Ziva. She'd won Gibbs' trust with a single action, and action that turned out to be falsely interpreted and presented to them as something else.

Tony was confused on top of everything else. She'd been there with them for years, and yet she was willing to leave them because of trust issues. He couldn't work out where her loyalties lay – them, NCIS, or them, Mossad?

" _Israeli sense of duty,"_ he remembered her saying as the reason she'd joined Mossad. Was that the reason she'd stayed?

* * *

Everything was so corrupt and bewildering.

"DiNozzo, you finish those case files?" Gibbs said.

"Right here Boss," Tony replied, scrunching up his eyes which had begun watering from the lack of light. They were working late yet again, having eaten dinner at their desks and not even considering going home.

Tony often thought about how his relationship with his boss had changed. They'd gone from being Boss and Agent to…he couldn't quite put his finger on it. They were just different. Their attitudes towards each other had shifted. Tony knew Gibbs had chosen him, taken his side. But now, with Ziva gone, even McGee was closer to them.

They were a team. They were a family. They depended on each other.

Tony negotiated his way over to Gibbs' desk, carefully stepping over where Abby was sleeping on the floor, right in the middle of the room. Trust, to her, was the most important thing. Since Ziva's 'betrayal', Abby had barely let the others out of her sight, just making sure they were okay and that there was no possibility that they would leave her too.

"Going home soon?" Gibbs asked as he took the folder.

"No point. Work to do here, not going to sleep," Tony replied, his slightly slurred speech clearly representing just how tired he was.

"Tony," Gibbs said, standing up. "Go home. McGee'll finish up here."

For a second Tony considered how unfair this was on the Probie, but then remembered that McGee had become even more nocturnal than the rest of them – during the day, he was nearly always passed out at his desk, but at night, he was alive. "See you in the morning, Boss."

Gibbs nodded and sat back down, returning to his pitiful looking box of Chinese food.

* * *

Tony pushed the apartment door open, not bothering to take his shoes off outside.

Ziva's old apartment had a strange affect on him. It was strange to be there, for one thing – her things where still inside. She hadn't moved a lot of her furniture to her new, now blown up, apartment, claiming that it was too much work to move everything while she could just buy everything new and delivered. Tony had sniggered at this remark, and had accepted it as a valid excuse for a girly shopping spree.

Now he wondered if it was because she had planned to live with Michael from then on, and had just wanted _everything_ to start afresh. Or something to that affect.

He found it often cleared his head, coming here. He didn't quite understand it, but with all the thoughts constantly running through his head, he'd do anything to have a moment of peace.

As far as he knew, the apartment had been paid for for the next two months. After that, he didn't know where he'd go. _Maybe_, he thought, _I should get a basement and bourbon._

He sat himself down on the couch, prepared to just spend the night there before returning to work 'refreshed'. He was just about to put his feet up when he heard the slightest rustle.

Tony froze. The apartment had been unoccupied for months: who would be there now?

He moved towards the closet where the noise had come from, moving his hand so it rested on his gun.

It happened in a flash – the door opened, and from the darkness within a hand emerged, covered in blood, and held a gun to his forehead.

He couldn't draw his own firearm. "NCIS," he said. "Lower your weapon."

The gun wasn't lowered, but its holder stepped out of the darkness. Tony gasped involuntarily.

"Don't move," Ziva said, not moving her fingers from the trigger.

* * *

**The chapter titles – the chapters are named after songs that have a lyric/lyrics that were the inspiration for that chapter. I'll post the title, artist and lyric at the end of the chapter for reference (but just the one lyric might be relevant, not necessarily the whole song).**

**SONG: Slight issue with this song…I don't know the artist. It was listed as Joanne Accom, but I know that's wrong. If anyone could actually tell me artist, it would be very appreciated. It's been driving me nuts.**

**Anyway…it's called 'I Don't Know'.**

_**I don't know who you are, you're not who you used to be, I remember you used to look at me differently, now you don't talk to me**__._

**I should point out that my mind hasn't worked properly in a few months. If something doesn't make sense or anything, please let me know. ****:)**


	2. Chapter 2: Halo

**A/N Just letting you know, this is a Tiva fic (with a lot of team relationships thrown in). It's just angsty at the start.**

**Enjoy!

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Chapter 2: Halo

Tony stared at her for a full minute, and for the first time since her departure, he felt a new emotion towards her.

Fury.

"If what I've been told is true, which I strongly believe it is, I should be the one aiming a weapon at you, Officer David," he said coldly.

Ziva moved so she was standing completely out in the open, and Tony got a good look at her.

One eye was swollen; the other was encircled with purple. Blood covered her clothes, and in some spots it looked like quite substantial amounts. She was filthy, with even more blood on her hands, and a particularly gruesome patch on the side of her face that looked so old it was almost black.

Tony reached one of his hands up and slowly moved the barrel away from his face, whilst simultaneously raising his own.

After a moment, he felt a twinge of concern. The injuries that were visible must be painful…what _couldn't_ he see? And how did it happen?

_Do you really care?_ He thought to himself. _She played you. She played Gibbs. She's a traitor._

Slowly Ziva slid down the wall, put her gun on the floor, and stood back up. "There. I am unarmed."

"How can you possibly think I'll believe anything you say," Tony snapped back, his face contorting with anger. "What are you doing here?"

"You will not believe anything I say, there is no point in telling you," she replied. She pulled a small bag from the closet and dumped it on the couch, pulling out various items – water bottle, papers, and eventually a jacket, which she put on over her stained singlet.

"I have no reason to," Tony said, re-holstering his weapon and standing in front of her. "After what you did…"

"And what exactly did I do, Tony?" she asked.

"Like you don't know," Tony scoffed.

Ziva pulled some pills from the bag and took them with a swig of water. "They are called painkillers," she said when she noticed Tony's questioning look. "Surely you have had them before."

"Cut the crap, Ziva," he said irritatedly. "What the hell are you doing here? When did you get here?"

"I got here about two minutes before you did," she told him. "And I could ask you the same question: what are _you_ doing _here_?"

"I'm the investigator, I'll ask the questions," Tony said quickly, avoiding her inquiry.

Ziva sighed. "You wouldn't believe me."

"For God's sake, Ziva, say _something_ that has some meaning behind it!" Tony yelled, walking directly up to her and standing mere inches away.

"What do you want me to say, Tony? 'I am sorry, take me back, I miss you and NCIS, oh, please, I will do anything'?" she said in a pitiful voice. "I know more than anyone that that will not achieve anything, and it is not the reason I am here to begin with."

"You left us," Tony reminded her coldly. "You were the one with the issues. It was your decision."

Ziva glared. "I could not trust you."

"And as it turns out, _I _can't trust _you_! You didn't kill Ari to save Gibbs; you killed Ari because Daddy Dearest told you to!" Ziva flinched ever so slightly. "Yes! I know! We all know! Gibbs trusted you, and was going to keep trusting you because of that one event! And it turns out it was all under false pretences!"

"Apart from that one occasion, I was completely loyal to the agency," Ziva hissed. "I was loyal to Gibbs, McGee, you, everyone."

"Until you decided to protect your Mossad chump boyfriend. Who was that being loyal to?"

Ziva glared even more. "What is done is done, Tony. I cannot take anything back."

Tony looked at his watch and made his way to the door. "Half an hour. That's all you get."

"Get for what?"

He pulled the door open. "To get your ass back on a plane and out of the country." He slammed it behind him on his way out.

* * *

Gibbs jolted awake at the sound of his phone buzzing on his desk. "Yeah, Gibbs."

"_Boss, we got a situation."_

"Like what, DiNozzo?"

"_Ziva's in DC."

* * *

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**SONG: "Halo" – Bethany Joy Lenz**

_**See me as I really am, I have flaws and sometimes I even sin, so pull me from that pedestal, I don't belong there**_


	3. Chapter 3: How Far We've Come

**A/N This fic has the most mixed response that I've ever received. I'm actually really enjoying it, it gives me something to think about. I hope that you guys will enjoy the upcoming chapters!  
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**I tried posting this yesterday, but the Document Manager wouldn't load. Sorry, M E Wofford, I had told you it would be up. :)  
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Chapter 3: How Far We've Come

Tony arrived at the squadroom twenty minutes later to find Gibbs pacing up and down the squadroom.

"What did she-"

"She didn't say why she's back. All I know is that she got here tonight."

"And you saw her where?"

Tony swallowed. He wasn't getting out of this one. And he knew that any inconsistencies in anything he said these days was enough to put him in the bad books for years. "Her old apartment. In Silver Springs." Gibbs didn't question him on it, much to his relief. "I got there, she was in the closet. I'm guessing she hid in there when I unlocked the door, thinking I could be someone else."

"You spoke to her?"

"Um…yelled at her. Gave her what for," Tony said unashamedly.

Gibbs didn't chide him. "Is she still there?"

"I left here there, yes," Tony said. "I told her she had half an hour to get out of the country."

Gibbs grabbed his keys from his desk and walked out, signaling for DiNozzo to follow.

* * *

"It still scares me that you can make it places in half the time that other people do," Tony said ten minutes later as they got out of the car.

They were back at the apartment.

"She's still here," Gibbs said, pointing to the light in the window. "Don't think she listened to you."

"Why is she back?" Tony said, frustrated.

"One thing at a time," Gibbs said. "Is she armed?"

"She was."

"Then maybe we should announce ourselves."

"You're very calm considering who you're about to talk to," Tony pointed out.

Gibbs shrugged slightly.

* * *

Ziva wasn't stupid – she saw them pull up out the front. She'd had no intention in doing what Tony said.

The non-trusting thing went both ways.

There was a knock on the door. "Not interested, thank you!" she yelled from across the room.

She heard muffled voices before the door came crashing in.

"We tried being polite," Tony told her.

Ziva didn't say anything.

"Ziva," Gibbs greeted. Tony still thought he was being overly civil.

Ziva nodded in response.

"Pleasantries over. What are you doing back here?" Gibbs asked.

"Same goes for you as it does for Tony. Neither of you will believe me, therefore I am not going to waste energy in telling you," she told him flatly.

"Let's try that again," Gibbs said. He walked up to her and pressed her onto the couch, something that was surprisingly easy to do. She winced in pain. "What are you doing back here?"

"Running," she said.

"Running. Well, I can see that," Tony said. "Hanging out in an open-view apartment."

"Shut up, Tony," Ziva snapped at him.

"Running from who?" Gibbs continued. Tony watched intently from behind him.

"Mossad."

"Why?"

The conversation was progressing quickly. Ziva knew she'd end up telling them the full truth sooner or later. "Rogue officer."

"You?"

"That is my new classification, yes," Ziva said. "I have been placed on the elimination list."

"What the hell in wrong with Mossad…" Tony muttered.

"I remained loyal to NCIS," Ziva said. "I did nothing to compromise any information-"

"You let your personal feelings compromise everything. Protecting Rivkin. Wasn't exactly the smartest thing you've done," Tony said.

Ziva couldn't argue with that. "Michael is no longer a factor in anything."

"Oh, right, because _I _killed him," Tony said sarcastically, moving forward.

"You did. You shot him," Ziva said, standing up and standing face to face with Tony. "You saw-"

"Oh here we go again with the 'how I killed Rivkin' speech. Go ahead, see if you can tell it as well as you did the first time," Tony said loudly.

"You should have stopped him from getting up! You knew he was impaled! It said so in your report!"

"If my memory serves me right, the report also said that Tony called for the fight to end at that point," Gibbs said.

"I said 'enough' to him. He progressed further. I told him not to do it, and instead he advanced," Tony said quietly. "It was justified. It was him or me, and quite frankly, I wanted to be the one still breathing by the end."

"We've heard this all before," Gibbs said before Ziva could put her word in. "Why have you been classified as 'rogue'?"

"Because Mossad is charmingly unspecific," Ziva said, tearing her eyes away from Tony's and facing her ex boss. "To eliminate another officer, they must be named as unstable and a risk to Mossad itself."

"What did you do to deserve that?"

"I was sent to Somalia to infiltrate the cell that Michael had been after. It was just successful, but only with a heavy input from Mossad. I was compromised; the cell recognized that I was the daughter of the Mossad Director. Demands were made, Mossad was threatened, and eventually, we overpowered them with heavy losses to our numbers."

"And that made you a threat?"

"_I_ was the one who took out most of the Mossad officers involved," Ziva revealed. "It was under false pretences, I was misled by the terrorists, but still, when that information was made known to the higher levels of Mossad and added to my record, it was understandable that I was a liability to the function of Mossad."

"What else is in your file?" Tony said, wondering what could possibly drive Mossad to chase one of their best officers.

"Being on the protection detail of a federal agency's director when she was killed. Having my cover compromised when in Paris many years ago. Being framed by the Iranians. All contributing factors."

"So now you're running."

"Of course I am. Do you really think I would just sit around in Israel and wait for someone to appear and shoot me in the forehead?" Gibbs recognized the symbolism.

"Why return to DC? Why not another city, another country?"

"Because I have ties here who I thought might possibly be able to assist me," Ziva said truthfully. "But apparently I was wrong."

Tony laughed derisively. "No kidding."

"You need to decide where your loyalties lie, Ziva, once and for all," Gibbs said. With that, he walked out.

Tony gave one last look of poison to Ziva before following.

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**SONG: "How Far We've Come" – Matchbox 20**

_**I started running but there's nowhere to run to, I sat down on the street, took a look at myself, said 'where you going man you know the world is headed for hell', say your goodbyes if you've got someone you can say goodbye to**_


	4. Chapter 4: Words

**A/N Updating kind of quick, I know (not that many people would complain).**

**Big kudos goes out to angel-death-dealer, for her magnificent story updates, and my Not Stalker, as always.**

**This is kind of a filler chapter until the next one, hence the shortness.  
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Chapter 4 - Words

Again they were in the squadroom, as if nothing had happened. As if they hadn't seen Ziva just days beforehand, in her apartment.

Even after he'd explained everything to McGee, Tony still found it difficult to comprehend and process.

Were they supposed to just let her return? Allow her into the team and return to how things were?

"What do we do now Boss?" Tony asked suddenly.

"We let her decide," Gibbs replied.

"D-" Tony paused, waiting for some passing agents to leave. "Do we tell Vance she's in the country?"

"No."

"Boss, she's on the Wanted list of one of our allies-"

"You really want to be the one to throw her to the wolves?"

Tony didn't even think about it for a second. "No."

"Then we let her sort it out," Gibbs said finally.

"Boss," Tony said quietly, moving to the older agent's desk. "Why aren't you…anything? Angry? Something? _Anything_?"

"Because, DiNozzo, I'm letting her fix her own mess."

"Let who fix what mess?" came a voice. Gibbs and Tony looked up to see Director Vance standing near their wall, watching them with interest.

"Ongoing case," Tony said quickly, returning to his own desk.

"Something we can help you with, Director?" Gibbs asked.

"I just finished a call with Tel Aviv. Mossad has launched an official search for Officer David."

"And that has what to do with us?"

Vance took a step closer to them. "Because she's been classified as rogue."

"So she's basically on death row," Tony said matter-of-factly.

Vance eyed him suspiciously. "We're duty bound to assist our allies when necessary. Ziva's a wanted fugitive, and there's a high possibility that she'll return to the States."

Tony feigned a look of cluelessness.

"She'll be searching for refuge. She was here for four years, it'll be the closest thing to home."

"And why are we being notified of this?"

Gibbs could see that Tony was fishing for information, and chose to follow along. "Are we playing host to some 'allies'?"

"No," Vance said. "But you're expected to report any contact of sighting of Officer David directly to me. Our international relations are at stake here, and I will not allow anything to jeopardize them."

Gibbs nodded, follow slowly by a reluctant Tony.

Vance left, looking back over his shoulder as he climbed the stairs back to his office.

"''Our international relations are at stake here'," Tony said mockingly. "Did he ever think that maybe sending two of the corrupt officers to D.C wasn't the best idea in the world? Why are we still putting up with them?"

"Because it's better to be friends than enemies," Gibbs said shortly.

McGee walked in, carrying coffee for them all. "What'd I miss?"

"Threats from high up on the pecking order, mentions of foreign relations, the usual," Tony said, nabbing his cup as McGee passed him.

"Ziva?" McGee said.

"Keep your voice down," Gibbs said.

"We're not reporting her?" McGee whispered.

"Do either of you actually want her to survive this?" Gibbs asked.

"Boss, she-"

"I know what she did. But she did make a good point."

"What was that?"

"She didn't do anything to put NCIS at risk," Gibbs reminded them. "And…" He drifted off, lost in his thoughts temporarily.

Ziva had done things for them that were beneficial. Her methods and techniques, while often questionable, aided them in investigations constantly. She'd helped Gibbs get his memory back by recalling her painful memory…_painful to her_.

"She didn't want to do it," Gibbs said suddenly.

"Do what?"

"Mossad are faithful to their own, as one big happy family, but even they are capable of having emotional ties."

Tony and McGee looked at each other confusedly before looking back at their boss. "What?"

"She didn't want to kill Ari," Gibbs said, holstering his gun. The other two followed suit. "But it was an order, from both the Director of Mossad and her father."

"I still don't get it," McGee muttered as they all approached the elevator.

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**SONG: "Words" – Kate Miller-Heidke**

_**The conversation's trivial but trivial is fine, when held up to the light, do you think my personality is written in stone, are you positively certain that you know what you've been shown**_

**Just a note, if anyone has any ideas for songs that I can use, feel free to suggest them. I do have some already, and most of the fic planned, but I'm open to new ideas. :)  
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	5. Chapter 5: Falling Apart

**A/N Am celebrating the reviews once again. I love them all, thank you so much!**

**Here's the new chapter!**

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Chapter 5 – Falling Apart

Ziva sat on the floor of her apartment. She had to admit, she was slightly surprised that she was still there. A, because she should have moved on by now, and B, because she had considered the possibility of her team reporting her.

Her team. She still thought of them as her team.

And why wouldn't she? She'd spent years with them, working with them.

_You left them,_ she thought._ You left them because of your own issues._

She began packing up the sheets of paper she'd been examining.

She hadn't been able to bring herself to leave. She didn't quite understand it. Maybe her ties to the team were stronger than she thought…

There was a knock at the door. In an instant, she was on her feet, her back against the wall and peering out from behind a cabinet. "Who's there?"

"_It's us, Ziva, let us in."_

It was Gibbs. Slowly, she made her way to the door and opened it a crack.

"Surprised to see that you're still here," Gibbs said as he pushed the door open even further and walked in. Ziva wasn't surprised to see that McGee and Tony were with him, and allowed them to enter as well.

McGee stared at her. He hadn't seen her yet. She resisted the momentary urge she had to embrace him, and turned to Gibbs. "What?"

"We've been put on notice to report any contact or sighting of you," Gibbs said.

"And you came here to tell me that?"

"Don't be so hostile, Ziva, we're trying to help," Tony said, even though the annoyance in his voice was clear.

"Sure, you're the one who came crashing through my door four days ago, and now you're telling me not to be hostile?" Ziva said sarcastically.

Gibbs looked at his other agents. "Give us the room."

"Boss?" McGee and Tony looked at him questionably.

Gibbs stared them down. "C'mon," Tony said, leading McGee to the bedroom.

"Sit," Gibbs said to Ziva.

She sat. "Gibbs-"

"Let's get this cleared up now…"

* * *

"This is ridiculous," Tony said, pacing around the room. "What the hell are we doing?"

"Hiding in here until Gibbs gives us the all clear," McGee said. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, fiddling with his jacket sleeve.

"Probie-"

"I don't think Gibbs believes she's guilty," McGee said quickly to avoid the outburst he knew was coming. "That's why he's being so civil. I don't think he _wants_ to believe it."

"I'm assuming you don't either?"

McGee nodded. "And you'd be lying if you said you did."

Tony stopped pacing. "Did what?"

McGee sighed. "Tony, you and Ziva were partners. Best friends." _And in my opinion, more,_ he thought. "You can't just decide that you completely hate her in a split second. We haven't heard the whole story, that's for sure. There has to be more to it. There's always more under the surface with Ziva, you know that."

"I don't hate her," Tony said quietly, shaking his head slightly.

"Then why are you acting like this?"

Tony opened his mouth for a moment, but changed his mind.

"Tony," McGee said. "What's going on with you and Ziva?"

"What d'you-"

"Everyone can see that something's been going on between you two. For years, it's been going on."

"This is so messed up," Tony said, running a hand through his hair and sitting next to McGee. "How can you remain so neutral?"

"I'm not neutral, I'm just not taking sides," McGee said. Tony looked at him confusedly. "Like I said, she was our teammate. We all trusted each other with our lives. I don't think she'd have done anything to jeopardize that."

Tony put his face in his hands.

* * *

**A/N Slightly shorter than usual, but I wanted the next chapter to sort some things out, and be separate.**

**And wait a second...was that Tony having some issues with some_ feelings?_ *dun dun dun* (always wanted to do that...ignore my immaturity)**

**SONG: "Falling Apart" – Matt Nathanson**

_**So call my bluff, cause I just need to be reminded of who I am, I'm falling apart**_


	6. Chapter 6: My Side Of The Story

**A/N Lots of explaining in this chapter…hopefully might make some things clearer.**

**This follows on from one of Gibbs' lines in the previous chapter.  
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**Sorry for the lack of update...but I'm on holidays now! I'll see how much writing I can do.**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews!**

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Chapter 6 – My Side Of The Story

"Let's get this cleared up now," Gibbs said as Tony closed the door behind him, leaving Gibbs and Ziva alone in the lounge.

Ziva looked at him. "You will believe me?"

"I never stopped."

Ziva took a moment, just breathing slowly, before starting. "I was betrayed. By Mossad, my father, Tony-"

"DiNozzo did what was necessary," Gibbs said.

"I knew Michael was at risk to himself. He was out of control. I called and requested for him to be recalled-"

"That's when you called Hadar."

"Yes," Ziva said. "It was too late. I should have known. And now everything…" She took another breath, trying to control herself. "Everything is out of control."

"What was between you and Rivkin?" Gibbs asked, even though he had a fairly good idea.

"We were assigned to work together on the Brian Roberts case," Ziva said. "We'd known each other for years."

"And…"  
"And…I let my feelings come through. I got emotionally involved," she said, almost ashamedly. "Then I returned to the States. I was happy about that."

"You-"

"I kept in contact with Michael. I returned to Israel to see him. Everything was fine."

"Until he was assigned a case."

"One of Michael's faults, he often only saw the goal, and nothing else. As a result, he made things extremely complicated, for himself, for Mossad-"

"For you."

Ziva nodded. "We have all seen how things can go when emotions get involved. Tony and Jeanne Benoit, me and Michael Locke…" She sniffed, blinking back the tears that had just begun to form.

"What happened after you stayed back in Israel?" Gibbs said, changing the subject.

"I was assigned to the case that Michael had been working on; the terrorist cell in Somalia. I was alone there, something which I had not done in a while. I had adapted to working as part of a team. I penetrated the terrorist building, but was captured within minutes."

"The injuries?"

"Routine terrorist interrogation technique," Ziva said, making it sound as simple as a teacher writing a disobedient student's name on the board. "They wanted to know everything about NCIS. I told them nothing, nothing at all."

"You protected us," Gibbs said, prompting her to continue.

"I overheard the men outside my door talking about another terrorist group breaking in. They then came into my room, and were immediately shot from behind. I believed the shooter to be a member of the opposing group. I took the guard's gun and shot the assailant, and took my chance to get out. It all happened so fast…I'd been there for what seemed like years. I had to escape."

"You took out the other group members as well?"

"Seventeen were killed, three were injured. I got out of the cell locale and used some of my old contacts to get back to Israel. I returned to Mossad, and went straight to my father."

Gibbs noticed her expression change from borderline saddened to just plain upset. He chose not to say anything.

"He looked surprised to see me. I had just walked into the room when I saw Hadar sitting in the corner, his arm in a sling. He looked just as surprised as my father." Ziva stopped talking, letting one tear roll down her cheek and onto her hand.

"Ziva…"

"My father called security. He pushed the button on his phone and they came. They grabbed me. I asked what was going on."

"What did he say?"

"My father told me…what I had assumed was just another terrorist group…it was a Mossad rescue team, coming to get me. I had injured or killed twenty officers of the Mossad, all of whom were there to rescue me. The Somalian terrorist group had it wrong, I assumed wrong, and those twenty officers paid the price."

"Hadar was one of them?"

"Yes." Ziva stopped again to control herself. "I had been classified as rogue by that point, which is why security took me."

"You escaped them too?"

Ziva chuckled for a moment. "Yes. It is quite easy to escape people who have lower training that yourself, even if you are injured." She suddenly remembered Tony mentioning that that was one thing he 'loved' about Mossad – modesty. She flushed.

Gibbs sensed her distraction. "And you came here."

"I had nowhere else to go," she said, tears opening coming down, but it didn't affect her speech. "Gibbs…I know you know about Ari."

"Yes." Gibbs' face darkened somewhat, something which panicked Ziva slightly. She'd just told him the entire story; she couldn't afford to lose him now.

"Orders are orders, but I could not…I could not watch him kill another innocent person. He had already killed Agent Todd…but…he was my _brother_. I killed my brother."

Now she was sobbing. Gibbs placed a hand on her back, shushing her comfortingly. "Ziva…"

"And now Tony…and McGee…Abby…_everyone_ believes that I am not to be trusted. I never did _anything _to compromise NCIS, I was beaten for it!"

"Ziva," Gibbs repeated. "This is all way beyond the level of just our team; this involves the administration. McGee hasn't taken anyone's side in this. Abs…you know she'll come around."

"And Tony?"

Gibbs thought for a moment. "You'll have to explain it to him. He's…he's grieving for losing you."

"Losing me?"

"You left the team, you left him."

_He's grieving,_ Ziva thought. _Because he lost you._

_How can this be fixed?_

Gibbs grasped her hand for a second. "I trust you, Ziva. We'll fix this."

Ziva let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you, Gibbs."

"We'll leave the rest of the explaining for another time," he said. He stood up. "DiNozzo! McGee!"

Tony and McGee were in the room instantly. "Boss?"

Gibbs motioned for Ziva to stand next to him. "Ziva's in protective custody. We'll take rotating duty."

Tony gaped slightly at his boss. McGee just nodded.

"I'll take the first shift. No-one is to know about this," Gibbs continued.

"Ducky-"

"I'll inform Ducky and Abby. Now, let's get out of here before someone finds us."

They waited for Ziva to pack up her things before leaving, Tony leading the way.

* * *

**SONG: "My Side Of The Story" – Hodges**

_**I'm all alone, running scared, losing my way in the dark**_


	7. AUTHOR'S NOTE

Hi everyone.

Sorry, no, this isn't an update (people who have read some of my other fics will know what I occasionally write notes instead of chapters. Sorry!).

I've had some recent health issues, and, coupled with writer's block and a rather 'interesting' message that was sent to me, I have decided to take a bit of a break from writing fanfiction. I'll still be around though, reading and reviewing other works. :)

Again, I apologise. I want to thank everyone who had been reading and reviewing _By Heart_, and I really hope that I'll be back soon.

- PJ


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